Monday, September 7, 2009

say what you mean to do or do what you mean to say

The funny thing about dog's is not that they can't talk, but they have chosen not to evolve the ability to do so.

We sit around and give so much meaning to things, even levels of meaning to the same things. There are grades of cheese and meat, different convictions of murder, and apparently a profusion of terms about collections of words we like to call stories. Is there some type of intellectual event horizon that can occur by using words to describe...words?

One of my great challenges through the years has been the ability to simply drift through life and succeed where I decided to land. It spoils a person for the real tests that are waiting for you. Hmmm... maybe the only true wall we have to climb is the one we build or decide we want to face. I don't know.

When I was very young there was a man who lived in our neighborhood who drove a dirty car with a face filled with lint and dust. He would sit and watch the children play and we all knew if we didn't behave there was a chance he would take us into his house and we would never be seen again.

When I left home at an early age, my brother came looking for me in barrooms on Bourbon Street where men and women are words best left at the entrance.

These were my options growing up and coming out.

I chose to ignore them and climbed over the insurmountable hill of acceptance by others and myself. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was by my own hand that I brought it into my life.

Now I sit here, working on my longtime dream of writing, my dogs at my feet, my friends in my home. This is my new mountain to climb, I am there already, at the top of the peak, book in hand. I'm not telling you what I am going to do.

Watch what I don't say.

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