Thursday, October 22, 2009

a handful of burning rocks

I wonder if wishes made during a meteor shower should be considered cheating?

In the middle of the night surrounded by darkness and the noise of things you never see at night, I looked up into the sky and waited for the first streak to appear. While I did I bounced around in my head several options for what I would demand from the universal powers that offer up this contract of changes for flashes of light.

I find it difficult to believe that anything in my life could be improved by making it easier, or longer, or moved to a place where the villas are white and the oceans are blue. At least not without the pain of effort and the mystery of life included.

See, that's what makes it all worth the trouble you know. The unknown, the excitement of new things undefined, possibilities and paths unchosen.

Like the hundreds of wishes burning in the vault of night above my head we get the joy of deciding what will happen to us, not just once but almost every second of our lives.

Sitting in the cold air, on my back deck, stars falling faster than I could decide the benefits of involving myself in the asking or not, I thought about what I was doing right before I chose the life I am living now. The job I was doing, the friends I was laughing with, the music that played while I sang in the shower. For all the great memories I don't think I was ever moving towards something at that time, so I guess I was just waiting for this life to come along so I could begin it.

When I was younger we usually only received five gifts at christmas and two of them would be socks and underwear. My brother and his wife bought me a football one year and after opening it up I looked at the odd shape, the brown dull color and stated:

"You might as well bring this back to Sears and get your money back because I will NEVER play with this thing."

It wasn't what I wished for, wasn't the thing that I imagined would be in the box when I shook. So I gave it back.

The next star that flashed above my head I wished for running socks and underwear and that when I opened my eyes the world I loved would be there.

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