Wednesday, October 14, 2009

the beauty of lost burdens

Last week I saw Bigfoot flying a kite in a grassy field near my house.

Usually I pay more attention to remarkable things that happen to me but I was deep in thought after reading an article which discussed possibilities of our true nature. Apparently in a savannah far far away our oldest living relative has been discovered. Now the scientists brought into question whether we were more like our chimpanzee cousins or mountain gorillas and even in our behavior, elephants.

You can do the research yourself but to summarize:

Are we bloodthirsty individuals or compassionate team players? Is violence and aggresive nature predominant or does it count for something that we tend to the sick and offer comfort to those in pain?

When I got home I found out that several people I know had lost their jobs. It is a scary place to be, to have the comfort of repetition yanked from under you. I experienced it a few years ago and have been channeling that experience into a short story I should be working on now, but instead I'm on this device of procrastination.

The main character has fallen, losing everything but wants the opportunity to start fresh yet hasn't come to the understanding that new beginnings are never for free. People want him to pay for the mistakes and pain that he doesn't remember inflicting.
Actions that he was not altogether in control of but that were watched and discussed by those same people.

It's because they, and we believe that a person is responsible for choosing their own path and with it the consequences, and of course we like seeing people go down. It's okay to say it, because it's makes us feel better for our own trespasses, and shortcomings and failures.

Losing everything turned out to be a good thing since I don't know what I was holding onto anyway.

When I was a little kid, I walked to a field behind my house and brought a kite to fly. Some bullies in the neighborhood took it from me while it was in the air and the string was in my hand.
I went home but was not sad for losing it because it seemed like a thing that was struggling to fly off into the sky anyway.

The next time I see Bigfoot with his kite, I think I'm gonna stop and let him know it's okay to let it go.

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